The Rest of the Story

So, as mentioned in my last post, we got the results of Ben's P.E.T. scan.  It wasn't as we'd hoped, but it wasn't truly bad either.  

The short of it was -- this is your life now.

The doctor never said remission.  Instead he said that the tumors are as small as they'll ever be.

The doctor never said that chemo was over.  Instead he said that Ben would always be doing some type of treatment to keep those tumors from growing.

So, indeed, this is our lives now.  There's no more guessing.  This is the new path God has placed us upon.  Our feet have left the comfortable path of yesterday, and been placed on the unknown path of now.  So, we must walk it.  

We have two choices -- we can fumble in the darkness, feeling blindly in the fading light wondering what's next.

Or, we can walk in The Light.  And God will give us just enough Light for the next step.  And we can learn to trust Him in ways that we may have never experienced before.

Life is full of noise and clamor.  God is full of peace and joy.  I'll take the peace and joy.  I just pray I can KEEP taking the peace and joy, and stop leaning on Kimberly to do things that Kimberly is really barely capable of doing.

So, there is a "rest of the story", to quote the late Paul Harvey.

Ben was offered a regimen of chemotherapy pills. This would replace the 6-8 hours of time spent at the cancer center.  It would also, theoretically, eliminate the need for the Neulasta shot that is so debilitating. 

But, there was a cost.  And that cost was quoted to us as being $900/month.

Welp, that was that.  We are too stretched to pull that off.  The cancer center suggested we contact our insurance to see if there was another option.  I then started asking people to pray.  I mean, Ben so much wanted to get away from that shot, and I wanted so badly for him to have that too.

Ben contacted the insurance and after about an hour on the phone he came back with an estimate if we used their mail order option.

$35/month

God is so good!  It would have never dawned on me to trust mail order, but the experience has been very good and very affordable!

However, that is not "the rest of the story."

For seven days, Ben took this medication -- 4 pills in the morning, 4 at night.  At the end of the seven days, Ben said that though the side-effects are basically the same, he doesn't feel quite as bad.  His fingers and toes are tingling (nerve damage), and his digestive system is screwy, but he didn't lose 3 days to Neulasta.

And ... here's the biggy.

At some point in the past, I mentioned in a post how much I missed the days when Ben would out-walk me to the door of a store.  He would walk so fast, he'd end up stopping to watch me catch up.  This cancer took that away from him, and the roles changed such that I'd often stand and wait on him.

But not anymore.

As we walked to the cancer center to see the nurse practioner after his first 7 days of the pills, he did it. 

He out-walked me.

He had to turn and wait.

And I was stunned.  After 7 long months of miserable chemotherapy to fight the cancer monster, Ben felt well enough to OUT-WALK ME.

You know what?  I'm so glad.  It's a small step.  We can't have that old path back, but having this old reminder of a different path made a huge difference to me that day.  Maybe it's silly.  Maybe it's strange.  Maybe it goes away again.  

But I had it that day.

That one day, I had Ben back to himself.

The drug therapy is so much better on him.  Side effects are going to happen, but quality of life matters so much.

So, I thank the LORD of all creation for hearing my cries, and answering me in this way.

I am grateful.

And for those of you who read this and pray regularly, this is our praise.  Did we get our "yes" from the LORD?  No, not really.  But He's still taking care of us!  I love Him so much.

Thank you so much, my precious friends.  You are a treasure on earth.

Praise the LORD!  Praise Him!

Psalm 150 New American Standard Bible (NASB)

A Psalm of Praise.

150 Praise the Lord!
Praise God in His sanctuary;
Praise Him in His mighty expanse.
² Praise Him for His mighty deeds;
Praise Him according to His excellent greatness.

³ Praise Him with trumpet sound;
Praise Him with harp and lyre.
⁴ Praise Him with timbrel and dancing;
Praise Him with stringed instruments and pipe.
⁵ Praise Him with loud cymbals;
Praise Him with resounding cymbals.
⁶ Let everything that has breath praise the Lord.

Praise the Lord!

*Graphics at beginning of page is from the website Antique Images.  All credit for the lovely image belongs to them.