Newness of Life

It is the 14th of September, in the year of our LORD 2016.  This is the eve of Benjamin's 51st birthday.

In my kitchen is, or was, a lovely houseplant; a gift from my mother-in-law to our 2nd son.  It flourished and flourished, first on the patio, then in the kitchen by the window.  It loved the filtered light, and I often turned the pot to keep it evenly growing.  It was lovely.

Then, one day, it inexplicably started dying down.  One by one the lovely green leaves turned brown, leaned over, and fell off.  We checked the water and the position of the pot, but could not diagnose the cause for death.  Eventually, only one leaf still remained, a strange, brown reminder of a once lovely and flourishing plant.

Benjamin once commented how much he liked the plant and wanted me to find a replacement.  I started my search to no avail.  Eventually, I ceased to look as Ben started to be more and more frail and sick and my need to be at home increased.  The search for the plant was forgotten and the pot remained in the kitchen.

Today, I went to the kitchen to warm leftovers for lunch, and then I saw it.

On this presumably dead plant is a single green leaf.  It's very tightly wound still -- so not yet open -- arching it's way toward the light of the window.  I stood in quiet contemplation, realizing how close I'd come to moving the pot outside to be reused, but could never make myself remove it.  

Out of the brown, seemingly dead plant, is rising a new life.

Benjamin is extremely frail now.  He is often confused, sleeps most of the time, and walks with an unsteady gait that causes me much concern.  As I watch his life wind down, I spend enormous amounts of time speaking to the LORD.  I've ceased asking Him "why" and have consistently asked Him for reassurances and direction.  

"What do I do now, LORD?"
"How am I going to get through this, LORD?"
"Where are our lives to go from here, LORD?"

Last night, I asked for reassurances again.  Today, I see new life springing from what appeared to be death.

It makes me think of the story of Job.  His life flourished, but then the storms came.  His faith was tested.  He had moments where he questioned the LORD.  And then, in the end, Job was restored.  The death of his former life was replaced with the newness of a restored life.

And through it all, Job praised God.
  
Job 1:20-22 (NASB)
²⁰ Then Job arose and tore his robe and shaved his head, and he fell to the ground and worshiped. ²¹ He said,

“Naked I came from my mother’s womb,
And naked I shall return there.
The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away.
Blessed be the name of the Lord.”

²² Through all this Job did not sin nor did he blame God.

There is no indication that the LORD ever shared with Job the "why" of his storm.  And, likewise, I don't think the LORD will share with me the "why" of our storm.  

The life our family once had -- flourishing and green -- is coming to an end.  Out of that life will rise a new life for our family.  I trust that.  I trust the LORD.  I know He will never abandon me (Psalm 94:14), nor forsake me (Joshua 1:5). 

He didn't promise that life would be easy.  He didn't promise there would be no pain.  He never promised that I'd have all the answers.  But He DID promise that He would be with me, He would care for me, and He would protect me.

This is hard, but I love the LORD through it all.

I pray that my story might lift you up today, sweet reader.  Maybe you have a moment in your life like the plant -- some part of your life -- that is dying down, slowly and painfully.  But please know that God will spring newness from that as you stay faithful to Him and trust Him.  Give your anxiety to Him, for He cares for you (1 Peter 5:7).

Hebrews 11:1 (NASB)
The Triumphs of Faith

11 Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.